Home educating girls

Somebody commented here yesterday, drawing attention to the possibility that some Christian groups raise girls with different expectations for their future than boys. This is probably a bad thing, although I have mixed feelings about it.

I will say at once that I believe firmly in the traditional family; that is to say a man and a woman making a vow of monogamy and raising their children together. As a matter of common observation, women tend to do most of the childcare themselves. Whether this should be the case is debateable; the truth is that even in the most right-on and progressive family, it is practically unheard of for the man to do the lion's share of the child rearing.

I believe that raising children is the most important thing that any adult can undertake. Everything else which I have done in my life is utterly insignificant when compared with bringing up my children. If we acknowledge that it is women who will be doing this task, then it makes sense to give them a little extra instruction about this, over and above what we teach to boys. I am not, by the way, advocating that boys should be taught or allowed to think that looking after babies is only for females. I am suggesting that realistically, it is girls who will end up doing the bulk of this. I suppose that from this point of view, it would make sense to angle a curriculum towards encouraging girls to learning more about childcare than boys. This is pretty much what some of the Christian curricula on offer for home educators aim to do. From that point of view, I suppose one can see the point.

I hasten to add, that I did no such thing myself. Although I did the majority of the childcare of my youngest daughter myself and despite the fact that she came to work with me and spent a few days every week from when she was three weeks old seeing me care for under-fives, she has never shown any sort of little girl type inclination to cuddle babies. This could, I suppose, be a consequence of having a man rather than a woman take care of her a lot when she was small. Maybe mothers pass on something to their daughters about caring for babies; I don't know. I sometimes wonder how good a scheme it is in real life for fathers to take care of their babies, instead of the mothers. I think it at least possible that this might lead to a disordered view of gender. Not that there is any sign of this in my daughter, but I can see that men are going to shape girls in very different ways from women.

I am not promoting any particular opinion here, just thinking about the programme about Gypsies last night and also the idea of a curriculum geared towards girls growing up as mothers and home keepers. I think that ideally, a rigorous academic course of instruction should be followed for both boys and girls, with additional separate elements for both. I can certainly think of one or two things that it would be wholesome to teach boys, as well as the normal subjects! I have to say that when I worked in Hackney during the eighties, running playgroups and so on, we tried to treat boys and girls exactly the same and it was a flop. Nurseries and primary schools were doing the same and it was all pretty much a failure there as well. I think that boys and girls are different and it might not be a bad thing to reflect these differences in the education which they are offered.